me only cares about me

Do you ever get so pissed off at a buddy that you ponder ripping off all his toenails and spreading them across the floor so he has to step on them because stepping on toenails is annoying and a little painful? If the answer is yes, or if the answer is sort of but you're weird, or if you enjoy cake in the shade of a maple tree on Wednesdays approaching Easter when you worry about Dad's drinking on that holiest of Sundays and Mom's perpensity to throw steaming potatoes at you're young nephews for being "unruly", then you get I.

So I was walking along and came up to me. That bastard barely even acknowledged my existence. What the fuck?!? Me and I had been buddies for as long as I remember. I used to push Me on the swing set until me'd almost get sick (then sometimes I'd keep going anyway!!!!! (rebel? guilty.)) We'd hang out in high school listening to reggae; I and I love that shit. Me and I rarely fought until a couple of weeks ago when Me went for my girl. I was like "buddy, what is this?! that's my girl." And Me was all "don't know what I'm talking about" and shit. I should have punched me right then and there. But now it's on. I am going to kick my ass! Do unto yourself as you would have yourself do unto I. Apparently me didn't get that memo.